I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be real. Not in the social media way where people post a picture of their messy room and call it “authentic.” I mean really real. The kind of real that makes people uncomfortable.

The kind that doesn’t filter out the hard parts just to make life look prettier.

Being real comes with a cost. It means saying things people don’t want to hear. It means losing friends who only liked the version of you that didn’t challenge them.

It means admitting when you’re lost, when you’re failing, when you don’t know what comes next. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that people love the idea of honesty—until it gets too close to home.

Why We Fake It

We all do it to some extent. Smile when we’re not okay. Say “I’m fine” when we’re barely hanging on. Act like we’re more successful, more stable, more put-together than we actually are.

And I get it. It’s easier. It keeps the questions away. It stops people from judging, from pitying, from looking at us like we’re broken.

But the thing about faking it? It’s exhausting. You keep up the act long enough, and eventually, you forget who you were before you started pretending.

The Fallout of Being Real

I lost people when I stopped sugarcoating my life. Not because I pushed them away, but because when I started speaking honestly—about feeling stuck, about not having it figured out, about struggling—they didn’t know how to handle it.

Some people only want you around when you make them feel better about themselves. The moment you stop fitting into that role, they disappear.

And yeah, it stings. But I’d rather have a handful of people who accept me as I am than a hundred who only stick around when I’m playing a part.

The Freedom of Dropping the Act

Here’s the thing: once you stop pretending, once you let people see the real version of you, life gets simpler. Not easier, but simpler. You don’t have to remember what lies you told or which version of yourself you presented to different people.

You just are. And the people who stick around? Those are the ones who were meant to be there.

I’d rather be rejected for who I am than accepted for someone I’m not. And yeah, that sounds like something off a motivational poster, but it’s true.

At the end of the day, when you’re alone with your thoughts, the only thing that matters is whether or not you can live with yourself.

Can you look in the mirror and be okay with what you see? Or have you built a version of yourself so far from the truth that you don’t even recognize it anymore?

The Hardest Part

Being real means confronting the things you’ve been avoiding. It means looking at your life and admitting what isn’t working.

It means letting go of relationships, habits, and mindsets that are keeping you stuck. And that’s terrifying. But it’s also the only way forward.

So if you’ve been feeling like you’re playing a role in your own life, maybe it’s time to drop the script. Maybe it’s time to start speaking your truth, even if your voice shakes. Even if it costs you some people along the way.

Because the ones who matter? They’ll stay. And the ones who leave? They were never really there for you to begin with.

This is your reminder that you don’t have to perform for anyone. You don’t have to shrink yourself down to fit into spaces that were never meant for you.

Be real. Be messy. Be honest. And if that scares people away, let them go.

Because at the end of the day, the only thing worse than losing people—is losing yourself.