You ever feel like everyone else got the memo on how to do life, and you’re just sitting here, trying to figure out where you even went wrong?

Like you’re running a race you didn’t sign up for, and somehow, you’re already dead last?

Yeah. Me too.

Lately, I’ve been looking around and realizing just how much time I’ve spent feeling like I’m behind. Like life is a game, and I missed my turn.

People I grew up with are getting married, buying houses, moving up in their careers.

And here I am—still in Oceanvale, still patching up an old car in a junkyard, still trying to make this website into something real.

It’s hard not to wonder if I should’ve done things differently. If maybe, somewhere along the way, I made the wrong turn and now there’s no way to catch up.

But here’s the thing I keep coming back to: Behind compared to what?

And if you’re feeling this way, maybe it’s time to ask yourself the same thing.

The Illusion of “Behind”

We all think there’s some universal timeline we’re supposed to follow.

Graduate by this age. Land your dream job by that age. Get married, buy a house, have kids—check all the boxes, one after the other.

And if you don’t? Well, congratulations. You’re falling behind.

But behind who?

There’s no single script that applies to everyone. No master timeline where we’re all supposed to hit the same milestones at the same time.

The only reason we feel behind is because we’re measuring ourselves against someone else’s life.

And that’s the trap.

Because someone else’s path has nothing to do with yours.

The Comparison Game (And Why You’ll Never Win It)

Social media makes this worse.

You log on and see someone posting about their promotion, their engagement, their perfect vacation. And suddenly, your life feels smaller.

You start comparing your behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel.

But here’s what you don’t see:

• The doubts they have at 2 AM.
• The things they don’t post about.
• The struggles, the failures, the nights they lay awake wondering if they’re doing the right thing.

No one has it all figured out. No one.

But if you only measure your life by what other people choose to show, you’re always going to feel like you’re losing.

So maybe it’s time to stop playing a game that was rigged from the start.

The Cost of Rushing

Let’s say, for a second, that you do rush to catch up.

You force yourself into a job you hate just to say you have stability.

You settle into a relationship that doesn’t feel right because you think you should be with someone by now.

You make choices based on fear—fear of being left behind, fear of being the only one who doesn’t have it together.

And then what?

You spend your life living for other people’s expectations instead of your own.

You chase a version of success that doesn’t even make you happy.

That’s the cost of rushing.

And trust me, it’s a hell of a price to pay.

Why Your Timeline Is Yours Alone

There’s something freeing about realizing that there is no set timeline.

Think about it.

• Stan Lee didn’t create Spider-Man until he was 40.
• Vera Wang didn’t design her first dress until she was 40.
• Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his breakout role until he was 46.
• Colonel Sanders (yeah, the KFC guy) didn’t franchise his first restaurant until he was 62.

No one talks about those stories as much as the overnight success ones.

But they’re proof that life doesn’t have an expiration date.

You’re not running late.

You’re just running your own race.

What to Do When You Feel Like You’re Behind

So, what do you actually do when that feeling creeps in? When you start looking around and wondering why everyone else seems ahead?

Here’s what I’ve found helps:

Define What “Ahead” Even Means for You

Forget society’s version of success for a second.

What do you actually want?

Not what your parents expect. Not what social media says you should want. Not what everyone else is doing.

What matters to you?

If you don’t define your own version of success, you’ll spend your whole life chasing someone else’s.

Stop Measuring by Other People’s Lives

This is a tough one.

It’s hard not to compare, especially when the world constantly shoves other people’s successes in your face.

But you have to remind yourself: your path is yours alone.

If you’re growing, learning, moving—even if it’s at your own pace—you’re not behind.

You’re just on a different road.

Look at How Far You’ve Already Come

We don’t give ourselves enough credit.

Think about where you were five years ago. The things you didn’t know then that you know now.

Even if you’re not where you want to be yet, you’re further than you were.

And that counts for something.

Remember: It’s Never Too Late

I don’t care how old you are.

It’s never too late to start, to change, to pivot, to try again.

Your timeline is yours to write.

So write it however the hell you want.

The Truth About Feeling Behind

Here’s the truth:

You’re not behind.

You’re just living.

And living isn’t a race.

Some people figure things out early. Some take longer. Some change their minds halfway through.

And that’s okay.

Because at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is you.

So stop worrying about who’s ahead or behind.

And start focusing on what kind of life actually makes you happy.

Because that?

That’s the only thing that really matters.

—J